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LoCo

Discussion in 'Collaborative Writing' started by Steel, Jun 29, 2011.

  1. Steel

    Steel RRS CEO Staff Member

    All things LoCo go here.

    Allow me to open things up with this:
    Valk....your post made no sense to me at all. What I can only assume are your questions...end with periods lol. I would help and proof-read your stuff, edit it and help it flow better (of course, if you say that's okay) but...I don't even know what you're saying here lol.

    For those of you who are posting:
    Brandon is "Brandon" to everyone in the Organization. Everyone will call him that. The people who know him as a hitman (also known as a 'sweeper'), or the opposing families, will usually call him Grave. And the only person who makes him smile is Bella. She's also the only one who calls him Bear....it's her nickname for him.

    As for the other characters:
    Jonah is.....not crazy, though everyone thinks he is. He isn't involved with the family at all...or any organization, for that matter.

    Please give us a little bit of important insight to your characters here so we can post properly without leaving the character.
     
  2. Valkyrie

    Valkyrie Site Administrator

    I will revise and edit later so that It can try and make sense and hopefully Flow better for understanding.
     
  3. Valkyrie

    Valkyrie Site Administrator

    On second thought my apologies guys I am gonna extend a pass as I am having issues with thought for writing lately hopefully I will get some semblance back sometime maybe if I am lucky some improved grammer too.
     
  4. Steel

    Steel RRS CEO Staff Member

    It's all good, Valk, don't worry about it. We've all been away for quite some time, it will prove to be a little difficult to get back in the swing of things.

    Dante, you're up. If you don't post in the next 6 days, it will be my turn. If you don't post, don't feel bad, just keep up on the story and we'll go from there.

    Is anyone going to add any important information about the character they've created?
     
  5. Dante Chaos

    Dante Chaos RRS CTO Staff Member

    Up put some more details on my char and shall post soon.

    Sent from my HTC Incredible S using Tapatalk
     
  6. Domino

    Domino CGO

    I shall post tidbits on Bella shortly.
     
  7. Dante Chaos

    Dante Chaos RRS CTO Staff Member

    updated the profile a bit but cant think of anything atm.
    Maybe something pops up in my lunchbreak.
     
  8. Steel

    Steel RRS CEO Staff Member

    Dante, did you want me to go ahead and post? Just say that you pass and we'll go through the rotation again.
     
  9. Dante Chaos

    Dante Chaos RRS CTO Staff Member

    When I'm arrived at work I will post. Work can wait :)

    Sent from my HTC Incredible S using Tapatalk
     
  10. Dante Chaos

    Dante Chaos RRS CTO Staff Member

    Hurr i said work can wait >_< its already 5 pm and stil havent done it. After dinner home im going to think for a post then.
     
  11. Steel

    Steel RRS CEO Staff Member

    Steel, Domino, Valkyrie, Dante Chaos, ggyppt

    That is the new rotation. As stated before (in the rules for collab writing) it will be a 7 day period until the next person is up to post. So, check back often to find new posts in the story.
     
  12. ggyppt

    ggyppt New Member

    Who is it right now?
     
  13. Domino

    Domino CGO

    That would be Dante. He hasn't posted for a week, so you can post your character intro and add a little more to the story if you would like, Topher. It's time to get it going.
     
  14. Steel

    Steel RRS CEO Staff Member

    Holy hell, Topher. That was an awesome post. I thoroughly enjoyed the skitzo touch, NICELY done. There is only one thing that I would like to point out....she shouldn't be able to lift a human body with relative ease. Just wanted to point that out. But, again....such an amazing post.
     
  15. Domino

    Domino CGO

    I agree! Way to start strong with your first post. I can't wait to write about Casey. This is going to be so much fun!
     
  16. ggyppt

    ggyppt New Member

    she's been dealing with moving bodies for 10-12 years, she has a lot of mucle now, even if they aren't noticable
     
  17. Steel

    Steel RRS CEO Staff Member

    I understand about moving bodies for 10-12 years, but moving a body that is completely dead weight (pardon the pun, if you will) is certainly no easy, let alone lifting it, as mentioned in your post. I'm not sure if you've ever tried to lift someone who is laying on the ground, in a completely prone position, without them stiffening up in any way, shape, or form. It is extremely difficult, and even if the person is lighter than you (by considerable amounts....say 20 pounds) it is still just as difficult. These guys are certainly not light, especially when compared to Casey, so being able to lift them would be an extremely taxing event for her. Moving them, as in dragging them around, would be fairly easy for someone like her, but certainly not lifting.
     
  18. ggyppt

    ggyppt New Member

    Okay, i see what you mean, and that is just how the words apeared on the page. I saw her throwing them over her shoulder and moving them that way
     
  19. ggyppt

    ggyppt New Member

    Since i posted during Dante's part, and i'm up next. Who goes. I have some more stuff, and i would have added it to the other post, but i thought it would make it too long.

    Also, looking back i said relative ease, meaning easily compared to a normal person carrying a body.
     
  20. Steel

    Steel RRS CEO Staff Member

    We continue the rotation. My turn is up next, then Domino's, etc. And you did say "with relative ease." which does, indeed, mean more easily than a normal person. But as I stated before, this may be a "fantastical story," but it's basis is in reality. If a woman, who is of the height, weight, and build of Casey, were to lift a man who weighed, more than likely, a hundred pounds (or close to) more than said woman....if she were to lift and carry him with relative ease, she would have the body of a female body builder. With her constantly drinking blood, she would still be sick and feel woozy a lot of the time, even with her healthy appetite. For her to move the body, that would be absolutely no issue, and would be done with more than a slight relative ease. But, for her to lift a body, from a prone position, over her shoulder, and then to stand up and carry it....on top of doing it for years....while possible (easily possible, mind you) her body would greatly reflect her power, and it would be the body of a female body builder. So, there is a way to do this, but not with the way you have her built, that is all I am saying and am trying to bring it to your attention. One thing will need to be changed, whether it's the size of her body and the way her muscles are clearly visible and overly exaggerated, or it is the fact that she drags the bodies and drags them into the jeep....which would be really good for my post, because it would leave such an opening for me to post.

    As for the length of your posts, don't EVER think that your post is "too long" unless it takes up the entire post character count lol. We've had posts that went on for miles, and that is perfect. Remember, this is a book we're writing, so do your best not to put too many restrictions on the length. But, also remember that you aren't the only one writing this and most of the fun is seeing how people react and write for your character. Still one of the best posts we've had in a collab writing.
     

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